Holy Thursday - a guided meditation

by Greg Finn

Here is a guided meditation based on the Gospel accounts of Holy Thursday. You can ask the Holy Spirit to guide you through the scenes. Try to immerse yourself in them, considering what you can see, hear, smell, taste and touch. Be aware of how your heart is moved at each stage and most importantly try to focus on Jesus throughout. Ask yourself how His face appears? How does He move? How does He interact with you?

“When darkness reigns”

A cool breeze sweeps in from the west, through an opening and into the upper room. The chill on your cheek snaps you from a swirl of bewildered thoughts bringing you back to full awareness. As you look out over the Hinnom Valley, the setting sun casts a rich copper glow across the lush slopes. What does this night hold?

Turning to the room, the oil lamps on the table cast flickering shadows. Jesus sits among your friends. His eyes are down, unmoving, his expression is hard to read. The others are hushed, some are casting nervous glances at one another. They have so many questions for Jesus but are too uneasy to ask.

Often the Teacher has spoken in ways difficult to decipher. Tonight it was as though every word he spoke was loaded with meaning just beyond the grasp of your understanding. Why had he spoken so vehemently of breaking his own body and of pouring out his blood? Why did he decline to drink from the Cup of Completion and leave the Passover ritual incomplete?

You remember that the bitter herbs tasted particularly acrid as Jesus had announced “One of you will betray me.”

Without consideration you blurted out “Is it I Lord?” and Jesus’ auburn eyes locked on yours for the briefest of moments, before he quickly looked away. What did you see in those eyes?
The room is still now as Judas hurries away and down the stairs. Where is he going? Jesus does not ask?

You re-join the table and without warning Jesus begins to pray and you join him in the traditional Psalms of praise. Jesus sings with a growing fervour. With closed eyes and raised hands he delivers the closing lines. You listen intently to his voice as he sings…

“You are my God, and I will praise you;

you are my God, and I will exalt you.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;

His love endures forever.”

Jesus then rises, descends the stairs and walks out into the darkness. You and the others scramble to your feet and follow. Your footsteps echo eerily on the stone as you pass through a shadowy gateway and into the lower city. You meet no one but hurrying through the twisting alleyways, the muffled strain of hymns can be heard behind barred doors.

You slip out of the city and down a dusty path into the depths of the Kidron Valley. The Holy Temple towers up to your left, dark and imposing. Suddenly Jesus turns and once more his eyes meet yours. “You will all fall away; for it is written ‘I will strike the shepherd and the sheep will be scattered.” How do you feel when Jesus says this to you?

Peter surges past you and drops at Jesus’ feet. “I will not fall away!” he cries.
A mournful smile spreads across Jesus’ face; he picks Peter up, embraces him and whispers in his ear. Peter’s shoulders slump and his head droops as Jesus once more turns and begins the ascent to the Mount of Olives. It is a walk you know well.

Near the summit Jesus stops. Some are told to wait at that spot but he beckons you and a few others onwards into a garden.

The air in the garden is thick with the aroma of olives and the clouded sky casts foreboding shadows among the gnarled tree trunks. Only the hum of chirping crickets penetrates the silence. Jesus begins to stagger. “Sit here while I pray.” he whispers and drifts deeper into the grove. You glance at your companions. What do you see in their faces now?

Half hidden in the gloom you see Jesus drop onto a large rock. His head plunges down upon it. You watch him silently but the night air has become bitingly cold. You sit and rest your back against an olive tree and wrap your cloak around yourself. You keep your eyes on Jesus as the moonlight breaks through and casts crooked shadows on the ground.

A hand touches your shoulder, you were sleeping. You look up into the face of Jesus. His brow glistens with sweat, his eyes swollen with tears and full of pain. It is the same expression you saw dash his face before the tomb of Lazarus. “Could you not watch one hour?” he sighs, “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” A tear slips down his cheek.

How does it feel to hear those words? Jesus reels away and returns to the same spot to pray. You shake your head and widen your eyes, determined to stay alert.

“Wake up! Why are you sleeping?” Jesus is over you once again, the same anguish in his eyes. He says no more but turns and heads away into the darkness. You listen as the crickets chirp on. An owl hoots slowly somewhere up above.

A hand grabs beneath your elbow and hauls you up. You stand beside Peter bleary-eyed. Jesus is facing you. “The hour has come, let us go, see my betrayer is here.”

Jesus’ voice has changed now. The steely calmness that you know so well has returned. He looks like the one who nobody dared to challenge in the temple, the one who drew a line in the sand, the one who left the teachers of the law unable to reply.

Jesus looks beyond you. You feel a change in the atmosphere. The hairs on your neck rise and your heartbeat quickens. Someone is coming through the trees. Torches blaze and you hear the chinking of steel.

Menacing figures begin to surround you on all sides. They are armed, snarling, and their eyes dart between you and your companions. One steps forward and the torchlight illuminates his face. It is Judas, how do you feel to see your friend here? What is he doing?

Judas approaches Jesus who stands statuesque. How is he so peaceful at a time like this? Judas kisses Jesus.

The armed men immediately lurch into action, their bounty marked. They are here for Jesus. How are beginning to feel now?

Your fists clench and you take a step forward. Peter hurtles past you but the gentlest of hands touches your wrist. It is Jesus beside you, the edges of his mouth curl into a smile as he shakes his head. He calls to Peter and you sense the faint clang of metal landing on rock, but your eyes are on Jesus’. For a moment, everything is still. Jesus’ eyes are ablaze and his smile remains. He nods gently to you, his hand still resting on your wrist.

A black bag is thrown over Jesus’ head. A shoulder thuds into your chest and you fly backwards onto the hard earth. Jesus is ripped from your view.

As you regain your senses you see the backs of the soldiers as they bolt away through the trees. Jesus has been taken. You sit in the dirt alone. The crickets chip on, the owl cries and the moon throws twisted shadows in the garden.

Lord Jesus, thank you for your passion and the way you accepted suffering because you knew it would bring me closer to you. Help me walk with you over these next few days and give me the grace to not leave you. Amen