When Hugh Hefner is a Revolutionary, where are we at?

By Isaac Withers

On Wednesday night, Hugh Hefner died. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know his legacy: you know about the Playboy magazine he founded in 1953 and his mansion in the Beverly Hills. You’ve probably also seen photos of him surrounded by women dressed as rabbits or as we’re supposed to refer to them, ‘the Playboy Bunnies’. But even if you’d never seen any of that, we’re all living in the post sexual revolution world, which Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Enterprises played a huge part in shaping. Hefner definitely was not the inventor of pornography, but Playboy has definitely played a big part in making pornography both an industry and a cultural norm.

As I scrolled the trending section of Facebook yesterday morning, every other thing would make me cringe a little. Tweets like, ‘RIP to the legendary Hugh Hefner! I'm so honored to have been a part of the Playboy team!’ from Kim Kardashian, or ‘Thank you for being a revolutionary and changing so many people's lives, especially mine’ from former Playboy model Jenny McCarthy. The more I read words like, ‘legendary’ and ‘revolutionary’, the more annoyed I became and the more convinced I was that I should write why. There’s an awful lot of rhetoric out there making Hugh Hefner sound like sexual Indian Jones, the exploratory hero we never knew we needed. They say you can tell a lot about a culture from its heroes, so I’d like to address this particular brand of revolutionary.

Porn drastically effects our ideas about Beauty

There’s absolutely no doubt that what we see effects how we behave, it is on this knowledge that companies pour an estimated 180 billion dollars into advertising each year. There’s plenty of protest about airbrushing in modelling and so forth, but very little is being said about how pornography is changing our ideas on what is beautiful or desirable.

In 2002, The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy conducted research that found that when men and women were exposed to pictures of female centrefold models from Playboy and Penthouse, ‘it significantly lowered their judgements about the attractiveness of “average” people.’ It shifted their ideas about what was attractive, and made the real women in their lives lesser by comparison.

Naomi Wolf, a leading feminist, writes about this same thing on American campuses in The Beauty Myth. She says, ‘Here is what young women tell me on college campuses when the subject comes up: They can’t compete and they know it. For how can a real woman – with pores and her own breasts and sexual needs of her own… possibly compete with a cybervision of perfection, downloadable and extinguishable at will… ? … Today, real naked women are just bad porn.’

The mainstreaming of porn via Playboy or any of the other 'adult entertainment' outlets, has led to women being put in the position of competing with the wealth of other options available to the modern man online. And yes, the women in porn consent (for the most part) to being in the content, but they creates this impossible situation for every other woman, either to allow themselves to be objectified too, or to give up. This effects you even if you’re Jennifer Lawrence, one of the most beautiful actresses in the world, because in 2014 she said this about her leaked nude photos.

‘”I was in a loving, healthy, great relationship for four years. It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you.”’

In an interview with Daily News in 2010, Hefner said that, 'the notion that Playboy turns women into sex objects is ridiculous. Women are sex objects. If women weren’t sex objects, there wouldn’t be another generation.' I hope I don't have to explain why that one's wrong. The fact that people aren't objects should be pretty obvious, but not to this man.

Celebrating porn is not the same as celebrating sex

The idea that porn is just part of us being ‘cool’ with sex, or that it is part of a healthy sexual appetite is another thing that Playboy has propagated. Matt Fradd has a great analogy for this in his book The Porn Myth.

‘Saying that we need porn to avoid sexual repression is like saying that we need gluttony to avoid anorexia. Pornography is as much a celebration of sex as gluttony is a celebration of food. … we gorge the masses on industrialised, commodified sexuality. This does not celebrate sex at all. It cheapens it.’

There a plenty of studies that show this in real terms. Pornography statistically doesn’t lead to people having more sex, it goes the other way. Serge Stoleru (a French neuroscientist) found that overexposure to erotic stimuli actually exhausts healthy sexual responses. Pornography seems to lead its consumers inwards. In one of his letters to his friends, C.S. Lewis has an amazing few lines on this:

‘In the end, they (women in pornography) become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself… After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of ourselves. … The danger is that of coming to love the prison.’

‘Coming to love the prison’ hits home every time. But speaking of the prison, I want to again quote you something from The Porn Myth. It blew me away when I read it and it’s why I’m writing this whole blog really.

‘Izabella St. James, one of Hef’s former girlfriends lived with him in the mansion for two years and shares in explicit detail the day-in, day-out happenings of Hef’s lifestyle in her book, Bunny Tales: Behind Closed Doors of the Playboy Mansion. Her description of Hef’s orgies is telling. The icon of sexual liberation needed Viagra, multiple women, and finally pornography in order to experience a sexual climax.

If a harem of real-life porn stars isn’t enough to satisfy a porn-imbued libido, what makes us think an average woman can compete?’

This, to me, doesn't sound like sexual revolution, it sounds like addiction, it sounds like emptiness, it sounds like a man who loves his prison. Hefner needed porn in the end even when he was surrounded by beauty. Clearly, for all this talk of his boldness and experimentation, this is not healthy sexuality, far from it.

If you go to the Playboy website right now, all you can see is a picture of Hugh Hefner with a quote of his that reads, ‘“Life is too short to be living somebody else’s dream."’ Well, if ‘the dream’ is the life he led, a mansion in L.A. with all the sex you could want, I can happily say I don’t want that dream.

And if we’re going to talk heroes and revolutionaries of this period, I’d suggest you check out Karol Wojtyla’s ‘Love and Responsibility’. It gave us lines like, ‘A person's rightful due is to be treated as an object of love, not as an object for use’ and ‘Love between man and woman cannot be built without sacrifices and self-denial.’ That’s St. Pope John Paul II preaching on sexuality around the same time that Hugh Hefner is saying the opposite. I know which narrative sounds more accurate to me.

But for all the damage I think he’s done, I don’t hate Hugh Hefner, I found myself praying for him yesterday (something I didn’t expect to find myself doing this week...). So pray for him too, and if you meet someone who thinks he was a revolutionary, ask them just what kind of revolution it is that they want, because objectification and feminism aren't compatible, and neither are love and use. Enjoy that conversation, it’s a good one and it’s not going away anytime soon.

#FightTheNewDrug

Living in the World, not of the World : How to live outside of the Catholic Bubble

This time last year, I decided to pack up ship in London to head up North for good; to Edinburgh. The past four years had been the best of my life and now I was headed away and into the cold. Not for the first time, I was scared and worried that I wouldn’t fit in; wouldn’t make friends; wouldn’t find a faith community where I felt at home like at my previous one. But the decision had been made.

A few days after my graduation in September, I moved to Edinburgh with induction week and university starting pretty much immediately. I tried to go to a lot of welcome week events so that I could meet people.  I arrived with great expectations to the catholic chaplaincy, having my old chaplaincy in the back of my mind – which helped me convert to Catholicism. From the beginning, I felt awkward in the chaplaincy and I tried to fit in, going to events that were both social and religious but I just didn’t feel comfortable. I thought that maybe now that I was a postgrad, I just needed to try different communities and find one where I felt at home. To try and help myself with the faith struggles, I went to the first regional Youth 2000 retreat in Rotherham in October. While it helped me briefly and it was another amazing experience as so many Youth 2000 retreats have been, it also made me realise that I was kind of trying to cling onto my ‘previous’ life and that that wasn’t going to work or end well in the long term.

I soon fell back into old, bad habits and didn’t try and do much about them because I had felt that I had lost my connection to the Lord. Sunday Mass was a routine more than anything else and the odd adoration I went to was so boring to me I soon stopped going, not even to mention intentional prayer or confession.

Now, the big thing for me when I moved (and possibly because I wanted to ignore all the other problems I was facing) was trying a new sport: rowing. While I have always been active, I thought that after 15 years of competitive swimming, it was time to try something else and rowing was a sport friends have urged me to try for a long time. The great thing was that the novice programme at Edinburgh is amazing, so even as someone who has never rowed before, we had a chance to do well and race. I saw this as an opportunity for more friendships and bonds to form. While it meant that I didn’t have much time for anything or anyone else but that and work, I still enjoyed it. In my mind, being very busy stops me from procrastinating as much and I always feel like I am productive but unfortunately that’s not exactly how it works. As I’m only human too, I ended up napping at the most random times of the day and not being able to concentrate at work. So, to still try and feel productive, I just rowed even more.

Of course, the actual exercise was fun, it had been a while since I had enjoyed training so much. Then there was also a social side, or at least so I was told. I’m not a big party-goer but I thought a night out every now and then could be quite fun. The next event coming up was ‘Family Night’ – where some of the senior rowers acted as ‘mum’ and ‘dad’ and ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’ and all the new rowers were the ‘children’. I got excited because I figured it was an amazing way to get to know people within the club but in a different squad which until then had been difficult with everyone’s different training times etc. Then I realised it was going to be on the weekend as a student retreat in Birmingham (CaSSU) that I wanted to go to. So, I fought with myself and eventually decided to have both, somehow. Go to the retreat, leave a bit earlier on the Sunday and get back to Edinburgh in time for the social. I was extremely excited, actually.

Each ‘family’ had a theme according to which they were meant to dress up on the night of the social. There were cool things like Vintage Olympics and then I found out mine: “Tarts and Vicars, Sluts and Nuns, Priests and Prostitutes” and the event page photo was taken straight out of some porn video. I actually lay on my bed and cried for 20 minutes.

Once I had kind of recovered I was actually shocked at my own reaction but it showed me what was more important to me – my faith and my beliefs, even if I was barely following them at the time. There was no need for me to think, I was definitely changing my train to stay at until the end of the retreat and only went home the next morning. 

This social which I didn’t go to ruined rowing for me partially. While I still enjoyed the exercise, I realised that if I didn’t turn up to socials, I probably wouldn’t be as much part of the squad as everyone else would be, but I accepted it. It made me realise just how important my faith is. And how much I really need it, even when I feel like I am losing the connection to our Lord. I learnt that what we need to do is 'Simply proclaim the Lord Christ holy in your hearts, and always have your answer ready for people who ask you the reason for the hope that you have.' (1 Peter 3:15) And to tell those who don’t ask directly.

Having just returned from another amazing Walsingham, I have come to terms that rowing was fun but is also done for me. After I got injured earlier this year, I couldn’t wait to come back but actually, Inheritance especially, showed me that I really want to spend more time with Jesus and my friends who love Jesus and less time at the gym.

It's Never Too Far or Too Late: My Return to The Church

                                   

By Megan James

Going back (or starting to go for the very first time) to church can be pretty daunting. Trust me, I know. It can feel a bit confusing, you can feel as though you just don’t belong, or that you aren’t good enough to be there. You can look around and think “I want what these people have. I want their peace, I want their certainty.” But it just doesn’t feel attainable because “well, I’m just too far gone.” This however is not true. Returning to the Church is not meant to be that way, not in God’s eyes anyhoo. Returning to Church should be like coming home.

My conversion (or re-conversion) to the faith came towards the end of my first year of uni. I was nearly 20, I had done my fair share of wandering and searching for happiness, fulfilment, and peace, and nothing had quite yet filled that hole in my heart. I wasn’t unhappy, but I was a little lost, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why.

My childhood had been filled with Sunday School and Bible stories, and I had loved it. I loved how simple it all seemed; there was good and there was bad, Jesus loved me, there was heaven, and the goal in life was to be kind and to love. Yup, that was the gist of everything my nan and her old pals would tell me at Sunday School, and what I would think about as I recited my prayers before bed. It was cosy. But life isn’t as simple as Sunday School made it out to be, and at 15 I was faced with a lot more mess and sadness than I thought possible, and those cosy stories about kindness and love didn’t seem to add up. When I was 15, my friend was murdered, and I had no idea how to align that level of tragedy and cruelty in the same world where God existed. It all seemed so senseless, my faith was shaken, and it was then that I walked away from the Church.

Looking back, I don’t think I ever stopped believing in God’s existence, but I did stop believing in His goodness. He existed, but He wasn’t doing me any good, so what was the point in all this church stuff? What was the point in praying to someone who didn’t really seem to have my back? "God isn't making me happy," I thought, "so I guess I'll just have to do that for myself." But still. He existed, and that small grain of faith left in my brain was enough for God to use later. 

Fast forward 4 years: after a pretty rough battle with both mental and physical health, I get to university a year later than I’d originally planned. University was a world of experience and encounter. Every day was filled with meeting new people and doing new things; constantly stimulated through new lessons in studies, but also in life, with a whole lot of partying piled on top. I was definitely seeking something, I wasn't sure what (well, I think I thought I knew what *cough* boys *cough*) but no matter how many lectures I went to, or how many lectures I skipped to go out instead, my search was still lacking something. Yet it was here where the pieces started to all fall into place, it was here is where God’s seemingly senseless plan started to make just a little sense to me.

I was so beyond blessed to be placed in a flat, in the bedroom directly opposite, the most amazing Christian girl. She quickly became my best friend, and she began to ask me more and more questions about my faith, my family, and my childhood. After a little while, she asked if I wanted to start going to church with her, and it was that simple invitation that opened the door for my return.

By taking that step back in to church, by giving that seed of "God exists" that small chance to blossom into something more, I began my journey back towards Him and all the peace and joy He had to offer me. But it wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t instant. Church felt nice, it was very homely and reminded me of my nan and all the things I missed about my childhood, but I still felt uneasy, and I could still feel that hurt in my heart. Even when my friend introduced me to the most amazing people at the Catholic Society, part of me still didn’t feel worthy, and I was so sure they would smell the ‘unfaithful’ all over me. But, I was open to Him, and I was starting to ask the right questions, and He was there to provide the answers. And after that first year of seeking, I went on a whole new journey with this new best friend of mine as we packed all that we could carry and set off to interrail Europe for a month.

While we were travelling, seeing the most gorgeous places that I had always dreamt of seeing, things finally began to click for me. I remember so distinctly being half way through this adventure, in Dubrovnik (the most beautiful city in Croatia), looking out across the most awe-inspiring view, stood next to the most wonderful friend, feeling the peace that I had searched for so desperately. I knew, in that moment, that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, and that all roads (no matter how dark or bumpy) had lead me here. What I realised is that although I had lost sight of God, He had never lost sight of me, and that God, if given half a chance, will use absolutely anything for His glory.

I suddenly saw that had my friend not died, had I not broken down and checked out of school for a year, had I not been challenged in all these ways, I would not be here in this place, with this person, at this time. I would not be the person that I now was, and my life would have looked very different. I would have gone to uni a year earlier, met completely different people, and had a whole different experience. And in that moment, I knew that I would not have wanted that; I would not have swapped any of those challenges for anything, because I didn't want to swap this peace I was feeling for anything. I was where God intended me to be, and my heart knew exactly what it was searching for all along. Him. And not just an empty and safe Sunday School version of Him, but a real, tangible, and life-changing Him.
My favourite part of the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11–32) is the line "and the father, seeing his son a long way off, ran to meet him." You see, the father did not see his son and just stand there waiting for him to come and grovel at his feet, no, he ran to meet him. Anyone thinking of stepping back into the Church should please remember this. The father of the story, that is our God. He is not waiting at a distance, cold and punishing. No, He is desperately waiting to see you make that teeniest move towards Him, and when He sees that, He will run to meet you, exactly where you are. That's the beauty of God, He meets us where we are at, and He embraces us; flaws and all.

In the story, the son was no less his son after squandering all of his money than he was at the beginning of the story, because as the scripture of Youth 2000's 2017 Summer Festival pointed out, we have an Inheritance that cannot fade away or spoil. We are sons and daughters, and the Church is our home. This is unconditional, this is our birth-right. There is no one who can take that away from you, or anyone who can tell you that you are not worthy of that (not even yourself). There is nowhere too far away or a time that is too late for you to make that small step back home, because I assure you, God is going to run to meet you and walk with you all the way back. And whichever way He takes you, it will be everything you have been searching for, and so much more.

7 Top Tips to Maintaining that Walsingham High!

So, the festival is over. Summer is behind us, our tent's are back in storage, and school/work/uni is starting up again. It all feels a little abrupt, and that buzz we felt in the Big Top is slowly wearing off. But fear not and take note! That high does not have to stay in a field in Walsingham! There are so many ways to keep the fire God sparked in you alive throughout the year, so don't let the Post-Walsingham Blues (PWB if you will) get you down, and listen to some Top Tips from our writers on how to maintain that Walsingham High!

1) Talk about it!

by Isaac Withers

I think one of the dangers of coming back from a really great retreat, is that it can be stored in the mind like a dream. When it becomes an awesome thing that happened but remains internal, it's kinda unhealthy. The most natural thing in the world is to tell your friends about the things you love. Imagine you'd just seen your favourite musician play Glastonbury - there's no way you wouldn't tell them about it.

Don't say 'I went camping with my friends' - big woop, and don't let them think it was Church camp, it wasn't. You spent 5 days experiencing the presence of God, but how do you say that and not look crazy? Maybe just tell them about the freedom confession brought you, or how diverse you realised the Church is, or how incredible the music was. Talking about it makes it real for you, and it offers them the joy you received.

2) Stay in touch!

by Richy Teasdale

Every year I come to Walsingham and make new friendships, renew old ones and reaffirm current ones. It's always awesome. But then each year I leave and fail to stay in touch. Then the process repeats the next year.

This year I'm determined do things differently. I'm determined to stay in touch. For many of us it's so hard to find a community of young Catholics in our parish, but we have the joy of social media! Because of this, we can stay in touch with the awesome people we meet, arrange meet ups, chat, and pray for each other.

That's going to be my challenge to beat the post festival blues. I'm going to stay in touch with the great people I have met and enjoy being part of a great Catholic community in all parts of my life, not just in Walsingham.

3) Read His Word!

By Lucy Starkie

Walsingham is full of optimism and joy, but how to keep that going in your day to day life back at home is quite another story. It’s a story that God wants to write with you, through the ups and downs that life can give us. One way of keeping the “Walsingham high” alive is by reading the Bible and rediscovering anew each day the love that God freely gives his people. If you’re wondering how to listen to the voice of God amongst the chaos and hubbub of the world that we live in, away from the quiet retreat that we had in Walsingham, praying through scripture is one of the answers.

Reading and learning His word allows us to grow in our own faith. It also allows us to grow in our prayer life, because we should read scripture as a prayer. It is a time to listen to God, and to reflect on his word, praying for understanding and simply quieting our hearts to listen. Starting and ending each day with even as little as a verse of scripture allows us to focus our hearts on God’s plan, not only for ourselves, but also for the whole of humankind.

4) Recieve the Sacraments!

by Megan James

When you're at Walsingham and surrounded by enthusiastic young Catholics encouraging and inspiring you in faith, this whole Catholic life thing can seem pretty easy. But in reality, when we pack up our tents and head home, it can be tough, and all of us are going to slip up and fall now and again. This is where the sacraments are so important!

Don't wait until your next retreat to visit the confessional or have a Holy Hour, Jesus is right there in your parish waiting for you! Go speak to Him! Go receive from Him!

Just like with all of our relationships, it takes communication and quality time to strengthen them, so take the time to go speak to Jesus. Find out Adoration and Confession times and make the most of them. When you slip up, go admit your mistakes and keep trying. You don't need a retreat to receive, you just need to accept all that Jesus has to offer you, no matter where you are.

5) Keep Praising!

by Amy Cooper

When I come home from a retreat or festival, I can’t have a praise and worship band following me around school, reminding me how much God loves me (as amazing as that would be). I’m lucky if I can even have a quick chat with another Catholic, never mind spend four days praising the Lord with them and I think my sanity would definitely be questioned if I ran around screaming, “GOD IS GOOD!”, waiting for the response of, “NOW AND FOREVER!”

One of the best ways I deal with the ‘post-festival blues’ is by listening to praise and worship music. Over half of the music on my phone is by bands such as ‘Hillsong United’ and ‘Elevation Worship’, meaning that even if I just put my music on shuffle I’m more than likely to hear a song about how much God loves me and wants me.

Sometimes all it takes is a small reminder to help us stay strong and positive in our faith. The lyrics of praise and worship songs often resonate very deeply with me and the music itself feels like the manifestation of God’s wonder and beauty.

Our God Saves, He is a Good Good Father and Nothing Can Separate us from Him. Keep your ears listening and your hearts longing.

6) Take Action!

By Paddie Denton

So for many of us the festival will been a time where we gave God a chance to speak to us and we took the time to listen. Now in the vibrancy of the festival space, where at all times you can be in the presence of of Christ, its easy to be pumped for the mission God spoke to you, for the word you received, for the calling to say YES. But as each day goes since you left that field, it is so much easier to believe it was all a lie, or to lose that desire to follow.

But brothers and sisters be radical! If you stood up during Fr Stephens call, or you felt the desire to but were not ready, email your local vocation director! In doing so, you sign up for nothing but you show a desire to step out and follow God.

So, you felt God was telling you to serve? Do it! It may be helping the poor, accompanying the old, teaching the young(er), or anything! Get in touch with local charities, religious and diocesan resources, and start serving. You can even help serve youth 2000! Volunteer at their next retreat, or get in touch and join us writing on here! Brothers and sister be fearless, be radical, reach and step out in praise and service.

7) Keep encountering God!

by Anna Jordan

The once-a-year Walsingham retreat can often seem like a mountain-top experience - we climb to the top for the deepest encounter with God, but then feel as though we have to climb down to continue our everyday lives. However, we don't need to feel like this! Our faith journey is not about annual "mountain-top" experiences, we need to continue our close encounter with God in the normalcy of life. But this isn't easy, and we need those 'big' experiences and retreats to bring us back to God again when we lose focus on Him.

Youth 2000 run weekend retreats across the country throughout the year, and there are also several prayer groups in many locations in the U.K. Wherever you may be in the country, there will be Catholic groups or events that will always welcome new people. And if you can't find anything in your area - grab a couple of friends and start a prayer group! After all: "Where two or three meet in my name, I am there among them" (Matt 18:20).

Keep checking www.Youth2000.org for details and booking coming soon!